Answers - coping with self harm urges, weightloss and fitness trend, my CF

Hi Izzy, could you please do a post on how to deal with self harm? How to cope without it? How to cope with urges? Etc... Thanks so much xx

My best advice when it comes to self harm urges - or any type of urges really - is distraction. Sooner or later those strong feelings and urges will pass, its just a matter of waiting it out and distracting yourself. But also to find better and healthier coping mechanisms. Because that is what self harm is... a coping mechanism and one that doesnt work. Because eventually what you are doing now wont work to help calm the anxiety or guilt or whatever you are feeling so you end up resorting to worse or other mechanisms, so instead you need to 1) Identify what you are feeling 2) Find a better way to cope and 3) wait it out with distractions. 

Also think... if your best friend or your sister or your daughter or son were to come to you and say that they want to harm themselves what would you say, or what would you tell them to do? You would most likely hug them and sit with them and remind them that they dont need to and shouldnt self harm.... so why do the opposite with yourself? Take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend.

Over time it gets easier to stand against those urges and strong feelings - know that they will pass, you just need to have another mechanism and healthier habit to deal with those feelings. And remember they are just feelings, they cant harm you and they will pass. Also i suggest proffessional care or talking to someone if the self harm urges are very strong or lead to suicidal thoughts.

Below are some posts about self harm and better alternatives than self harm:

Alternatives for self harm

When you feel the urge to self harm/compensate

Self harm - the coping mechanism that doesnt work

Self harm advice 

Hi Izzy, How do you cope with the latest 'weight loss and fitness' craze. I just about called myself recovered, as in I was eating well, a healthy weight and healthy amount of exercise. But now all my friends have jumped on the latest healthy eating and fitness craze and all saying how they need to lose weight and writing food diaries. This has made my head go crazy, just when i thought I was getting rid of the impulses and voices, any advice on how to deal with this? Ive come so far and really really don't want to go backwards

Unfortunatly this "craze" has been around for a while and many people begin with the "new year, new me" diet and the tracking. What you need to do is learn to deal with it and to not get dragged into the craze or trend. You need to remember what is best for you and your health and that isnt to start counting calories or lose weight or exercise obsessively, i know its easier said than done but you dont need to do what everyone else is doing. And sooner or later your friends will stop with the calorie counting or realise that it takes too much time or is just a "quick fix". Maybe you can remind them that quick fixes dont work and instead they should focus on making healthy and long lasting life style choices? Maybe you can suggest working out together as a healthy and fun thing to do and eating healthy and delicious meals together? That they dont need to restrict themselves like crazy? YOU can be the healthy example for them?

Most of all you need to remember what is best for you. I mean if 10 people decide to go on a diet doesnt mean you have to do that as well, you are an individual and make your own choices!

Try to inspire your friends to be healthy instead. 

Even my friends who are studying nutrition and health promotion get caught into the diets and trends, for example 2 are doing LCHF diet and didnt eat any carbs for lunch and one didnt even eat any lunch as she seems to be doing some type of fasting diet. And it does irritate me in a sense because i think those diets just do more harm than good, but also how are they going to work with nutrition and promoting health and helping others with health if they are following FAD diets. But i guess they'll have experience about those diets anyway... but i just think its silly and not long lasting lifestyle changes which is the most important if you want to see a difference.

I have some posts about this topic:

Feeling guilty when family or friends eat less than you

Eating more than others

Feeling like you need to eat less than others

Gaining weight while friends/family try to lose weight

Hi Izzy - as its the 1st of February are you going to a positives/ progress post or goals for the month? Love these, especially reading of all the successes!
Hope you`re having a happy Wednesday

It didnt seem like anyone was interested or commenting haha... so kind of takes away the point of the post? But also i forget to do them... but let me know if you still want me to do the postives of the week or progress of the week posts... if no one comments then ill just skip them because theres not much point of them otherwise. They are supposed to be an inspiration for YOU and to share progress :)

Izzy, I am really really worried about you. I am reading your blog for about a year and I really like your personality, your inspiring writing, your positive thinking.. But as you have a CF, I started to read more about this disease because I was really worried if this is a dangerous disease. And I found out that people with CF live a very short time.. ca. 30 years... Maybe this is a sensitive subject for you but if you don't mind, may I ask you if the doctors told how long will you live? How did you cope with this fact? And how is your CF health going? Please tell me if you can because I am so so worried... :/

I actually dont really know what the point of this comment was - i understand you mean it in a caring sense but i dont really see it that way. I am well aware of the "limited" lifespan a person with CF may have. And i am aware of how it affects me and affects my life, and my depression/negative thoughts began at the age of 12 when i realised that i might not live as long as others. So bringing attention to it doesnt personally help me.

HOWEVER now a days there is so much help and care for patients with CF so i am sure i can live to be 50+ if i take care of myself. Which is why it is so important for me to take my medications, exercise daily, eat right as well as go to all my hospital appointments and take antibiotics and such when necessary. 

I dont write about how my CF affects me on a daily basis because it isnt interesting for anyone else, but yes... it has its complications. Stomach pain due to digestion problems (though eating a plant based diet has helped tremendously!), feeling like im breathing through a straw and at the same time have a belt around my lungs, coughing alot of blood, lots of mucus, feeling extra tired somedays because i cant breathe properly or feel short of breath. All the hospital appointments i go to, all the medication i take which can make me tired, make me feel dizzy as my heart beats faster as well as certain medication affecting my teeth and can even affect my eyesight and hearing in the longterm. I dont write about my CF but it does affect me in many ways and thats just what i deal with on a daily. I take care of myself and even if my CF health does decline over the years, it is always worse when i deal with depression or back when i was sick with my eating disorder. I am just thankful that i only have one illness to deal with on a daily basis but also that my CF health is so much better than it was before and not to mention that there are people with CF who almost live in hospital because they are so sick or are 10 years old and have to have a double lung transplant, or CF patients who end up with CF related diabetes or other CF related illnesses. So i am just thankful that its not worse and all i can do is take care of myself and keep myself healthy, i cant do anything about the fact that i have the illness, but i can do my best to keep it from getting worse hopefully!! :)

Questions before giving up & depression resources (Masterpost)

I love this picture and think it is very helpful and might be helpful to others. Dont ever make a spontaneous decision when feeling down or low. Suicide should not be an option, no matter how much you are struggling... tell yourself "one more week" and keep repeating that until you no longer need that reminder because you want to live the rest of your life. But also ASK FOR HELP. If you are having suicidal thoughts, ask for help or just go hug someone. Go and cry and tlak to someone, or even if you just sit in silence... it can help. But you should never feel like you are alone or that you are suffering in silence. There is always someone, if not there are always hotlines you can call or sites which you can go onto which can help you when you are struggling. There are always other options even if it doesnt feel like it. Even if you have to repeat "One more hour" and keep repeating that, but do talk to someone if you are feeling that low or awful. You can get through this!!

Also, dont self harm. I know it can be helpful, i know it takes away the mental pain but it is also an addiction and the addiction will get worse. Over time the self harm increases and gets worse as the pain doesnt go away so quickly. Find healthier ways to cope instead, such as draw on your skin instead, or rip paper into pieces or hold ice cubes. Or try listening to really loud music, or if you enjoy running (and ont have an exercise addiction) then going out to run really fast with music can be helpful when you are overwhelmed with emotions - however be careful that you dont do anything stupid while being out on your own. Also send a message to someone, ask them to call you or just a way to start a conversation.
 Try drawing or doing something with your hands and something to distract yourself. You dont need to hurt yourself, it wont solve the problem. It takes away the mental pain for a little while, but eventually it will still be there and you will just be left with scars and scabs which take a long time to heal and you might regret. But also you shouldnt be harming your body, your body is just trying to keep you alive while you mind is trying to tear you apart. Below are some alternatives to self harm which you can try.

Stay strong all of you!! You can get through your struggles, take one day at a time.

Depression Resources:

Healthy Ways to Cope with Depression:

• Teen Depression: A Guide for Teenagers
• How to Deal with Teenage Depression
• Coping Skills May Reduce Teen Depression
• Tips for Coping With Depression
• Depression (Coping)
• 10 Ways to Cope With Depression

Types of depression

• Depression Symptoms and Warning Signs: How to Recognize Depression Symptoms and Get Effective Help
• Depression in Older Adults: Recognize the Signs and Find Treatment that Works
• Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression: Learn the Signs and How You Can Help Your Teen
• Teenager’s Guide to Depression: Learn Tips and Tools for Helping Yourself or a Friend
• Depression in Men: Why It’s Hard to Recognize and What Helps
• Depression in Women: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help
• Postpartum Depression: Symptoms, Treatment, and Support for New Mothers

Depression and Dysthymia

• Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help.
• Mental Support Community A forum to talk about regular unipolar forms of depression and how it affects your life.
• Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
• FacingUs Clubhouse Wellness Tracker, Wellness Book, Crisis Planning, Etc.
• Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression.
• What is dysthymia? This is an submission from a follower explaining dysthymia.
• What is the difference between dysthymia and major depression?
• The black dog institute has some great resources for depression and bipolar disorder.
• This is a link to a great workbook you can do to teach you about coping with depression.
• This post explains the marble theory of depression.
• This is a post that explains the symptoms and treatment of depression.
• This post lists some negative thinking styles that add to depression.

Depression Links:

• Coping with Suicidal Thought
• 10 Tips on How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation
• 8 Tips to Overcome Loneliness
• Tips On Dealing With Depression In College
• Antidepressants: Selecting one that’s right for you
• What to expect with antidepressants

Dealing with bipolar disorder/ manic depression

• Helping your loved one through a manic episode
• Helping a loved one with bipolar disorder
• Dealing with bipolar mania: help for caregivers
• 7 ways to deal with a manic depressive person
• Dealing effectively with depression and manic depression
• Simple tricks to deal with anxiety and mania
• 5 tips for coping with mania
• Coping skills for bipolar disorder
• 50 natural ways to manage and cope with bipolar disorder
• 10 small steps you can  take to improve bipolar disorde

*I have not checked all the links, so please comment if one isnt working or is not the right site*

Answers

What does your boyfriend say about you taking pictures of food? 
He knows i blog so he doesnt question it :) But i try to not take too many food photos when i am with him... just like i try to not do too much blogging when i am with him. Instead i schedule posts and such :)

Do you eat the same thing as him? How do you decide what to eat?
How we decide.... haha we just sort of eat 'the usual' which is chicken or salmon and then we add things like potatoes/potatoe wedges/avocado/cottage cheese/salad etc or do things like burgers, tacos, home made pizza etc
Yes we eat the same thing, though he eats red meat so i've told him that its fine if he wants to eat that sometime and then ill make chicken/fish/quorn & whatever else we're eating. Though of course there are some differences in the way we eat, but we both compromise and it's no big deal :)

How long do self harm scars last? How long until they fade, will they all leave scars?
It depends on what type of self harm it is and how 'bad' it is.... but generally scars can last 2-4 weeks or more. There are creams and 'bio oil' is supposed to help with self harm scars. Some scars don't fade at all, or it takes years for them to fade. So the best thing is to stop and not make any more self harm scars. You can find some of my posts about self harm HERE

do you sometimes wish your anorexia had never been there or can you accept it as a part of your life? 

At the time i was sick i would have done anything to not struggle and not have to go through what i was going through. But now afterwards i can say that what i went through made me who i am today. I would be a completely different person if i hadnt struggled and gone through what i did. I believe that i would still have been the weak, self conscious girl with low self esteem and perfectionism. But also i dont know if i would live in Sweden if i hadnt become sick. I wouldnt have met my friends, i wouldnt have met my boyfriend.... there are so many things i wouldnt have done, so many memories which i wouldnt have. Though that doesnt mean my life wouldnt be good, i mean if you dont know better then it of course seems good. But i wouldnt want to change what i have been through, because i know i can use my past experience and continue to help people which is what i love!!

I can accept my past, learn from my mistakes, move on and hopefully not make the same mistakes again. But also to help others not make the same mistakes i did. It is a part of me and a part of my past and i am ok with that :)

For a long time i carried alot of guilt about my past, about how i had treated the people around me, how i had treated myself as well as how many years i had lost. But now i no longer feel guilt over that, but can instead accept it and move on, which i believe is an important part of recovery as well. To one accept that you are/were sick, but that you are moving towards a healthier you/you are healthy now and your eating disorder is in the past.

Self harm - the coping mechanism that doesn't help

Self harm, an addictive behaviour which is often used as a way to cope with strong emotions, anxiety or guilt. It is a behaviour which is misunderstood by many and most people presume that it is done to get attention.  Though I can say from experience, when I self harmed the last thing I wanted was attention. I managed to cover my scars for a year or so without them being noticed and I continued to hide my scars when I claimed I had stopped. It was not something I did for attention and it's usually not the first reason people do it. Though of course there are some people who self harm just for attention.

However what I can say from experience is that it is a coping mechanism that easily becomes addictive. You start once, you can't put words to your thoughts, feelings or emotions.  Or there are strong, overwhelming emotions that take over you and suddenly you are trying to cause yourself physical pain to get rid of the mental pain. The physical pain doesn't hurt in the way it would if you weren't in so much mental pain. You feel numb and over time the self harm gets worse because you don't feel anything anymore. You need to self harm more, worse to try to get rid of the mental pain. 

Self harm is not a coping mechanism that works. In the beginning it might help you with your feelings or emotions as you stop feeling them.  But self harm just causes more problems... you have scars you feel guilty over, you try to hide them, you feel ashamed or guilty. It adds even more secrecy, distraught, anxiety and guilt.

When I was my sickest there were times that I almost felt a little proud over my scars and didn't care if people saw them. I wanted people to see how I felt... I wanted them to see that I was messed up and falling apart. But mostly I just felt guilty and stupid and didn't want anyone to see my scars. However self harm is not just cutting, it includes other things such as burning, picking at scabs, hitting yourself etc etc

There are much better alternatives to cope with how you are feeling than to try to hurt yourself. Think... do you really want to walk around hiding scars for the next few days/weeks? To have to cover yourself up if it's warm outside or to get addicted to self harming where you do it every day.

Instead you should call someone, write out your thoughts or feelings.

Self harm advice and alternatives to self harm

Alternatives to self harming

Recvoery strategies - when you feel the urge to self harm

The reason you shouldnt give up

There are often times in life when people feel like giving up. Life is too hard and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes giving up seems easier..... But its not. Death is not something to think lightly about and giving up on life is not something that should be considered. Instead, try to find the good things in life.... remind yourself that if today is the worst day of your life, then tomorrow can only be better.

Remind yourself of things you want to do in life, of things you might miss out on if you werent here. 

Here are just some reasons why you shouldnt give up on life:

Because you will miss out on:

• Those bonding moments you have with friends/family/partner/animal
• Those moments when you just laugh and you feel this happiness radiate inside you
• When you find the person you truly love and enjoy spending time with
• Those mornings when you wake up and feel happy that its a new day
• When you finally achieve something you havent been able to do before
• When you reach a goal you have had
• When you do something kind for others and you see how their face lights up and you feel happy inside (Hopefully!)
• When its sunny outside and you can't wait to go outside and do something fun
• Brunches!!!
• Travelling
• Adventures
• New memories
• All the new songs, films, series that will be released!!
• Trying new coffee or tea flavours (or chocolate or ice cream flavours!!)
• Finding a new hobby you love
• Making new friends
• Learning new things
• Seeing rainbows!
• Long road trips (if you enjoy those!)
• Seeing the world & travelling
• Dancing, running, walking, moving your body (if you enjoy that!)
• Cuddling with your pet
• Laughing
• Spending time with your nearest and closest!
• Drinking coffee/tea
• Reading new books
• Going to concerts or festivals
• Doing things on your bucketlist
• Setting new goals for yourself

You will miss out on so much.... think about what could happen, what you will miss out on. I know it can seem hopeless right now if you are in a very awful or dark place, then these types of things dont matter. But i can promise you, death wont help. But also a failed suicide attempt, that will just cause so many problems. It might however be a wake up call, but for me... my failed suicide attempts just spurred me on to truly try to kill myself. But if i had died back in 2011 or 2012 then i would have missed these past 3 years of my life which might have been the best years of my life as well as i have grown as a person, learnt so much, done so many new things, made so many new memories and gotten to know amazing people in my life!!!

And you may think.. im just lucky but its not luck. Its about thinking positive and NOT giving up during the bad times, because yes i have experienced bad times these past 3 years as well, but ive known that things will get better and they have!!

Self harm scars

Ive recently been asked about my self harm scars and whether A has wondered about them and no, he hasnt. They have faded but they are still white scars which can be seen on my arms. None of my friends have asked about them either... but the thing is its not really something you ask about... I mean i have seen one of my friends who has had self harm scars and even though i wanted to reach out and ask her if she needed help, there is something that holds you back. And i think its the same for other people, that even if they become curious or figure out that the person has self harmed and they want to ask if the person is ok... there is something that holds them back.

I dont think people should be ashamed of their self harm scars, though i mean having self harm scars isnt always so fun, especially if they are very deep and leave very nasty scars, but they leave a reminder of your past. What you have been through and how far you have come. Its like white tattoos, or just normal tattoos.... though with tattoos its often a choice to have them on your skin for the rest of your life.
   But self harm scars, its not exactly something you choose to have, its something you do for numerous reasons.
However not having any long term scars can be a reason to try to stop self harming, because its such a nasty thing. It is a short term coping mechanism that doesnt really work in the long term... because in the end the self harm wont work anymore, it wont remove the pain and anxiety you are in, because it's a mental pain, and the pain cant be removed by a blade or other form of self harm.

I dont really know where i am going with this post, but i guess i want to say that self harm isnt a joke, but having scars isnt something to be ashamed of either. But i mean i know there are people who are proud of their scars and gladly show them.... For me i had a period like that, it was like my self harm scars showed just how broken down i was. Showed just how much i was suffering and how much pain i was in.... but now its like i want to be strong and look strong to show just how strong i am on the inside!! Have my physical match my insides.
   
Back to self harm scars though, i know that bio-oil and some other oils can help to lessen the scars, so you can always try that. Otherwise there is some really good make up now which can hide tattoos and such, so you can always look into that if you feel self conscious :)

Self harm advice

 If you are struggling with self harm you need to find another way to cope with the anxiety and what is making you self harm. You need to find another coping method. Cutting yourself WONT help. It just takes the mental pain away and causes physical pain, but that doesnt last in the long term.

  Instead trying drawing, writing, talking, tearing paper, cutting paper, making a collage, cleaning, dancing, listening to really loud music, going for a run or some other form of exercise (if you are allowed).¨

For me, when i felt that the anxiety was too much and all i wanted to do was self harm i would write instead. Write all these angry words, negative thoughts... just let it out of me. And then i woudl end up tearing the paper into pieces, cutting it or just making holes in the paper. Tkaing my anger and anxiety out somewhere, anywhere but on myself.

  There were times i could go through 3-7 pages, just making wholes, cutting, tearing the paper.

   

I have a few posts which might help you with your self harm, but you need to make conscious dcisons to stop. Not let the anxiety take over you. Have you ever heard of the butterfly project?  that might help you. Otherwise another good method is to take a pain and draw lines on where you would self harm, or to write kind words instead of self harming. This can be a good method instead of self harming.

 If you are struggling with self harm you need to find another way to cope with the anxiety and what is making you self harm. You need to find another coping method. Cutting yourself WONT help. It just takes the mental pain away and causes physical pain, but that doesnt last in the long term.

  Instead trying drawing, writing, talking, tearing paper, cutting paper, making a collage, cleaning, dancing, listening to really loud music, going for a run or some other form of exercise (if you are allowed).¨

For me, when i felt that the anxiety was too much and all i wanted to do was self harm i would write instead. Write all these angry words, negative thoughts... just let it out of me. And then i woudl end up tearing the paper into pieces, cutting it or just making holes in the paper. Tkaing my anger and anxiety out somewhere, anywhere but on myself.

  There were times i could go through 3-7 pages, just making wholes, cutting, tearing the paper.

   

I have a few posts which might help you with your self harm, but you need to make conscious dcisons to stop. Not let the anxiety take over you. Have you ever heard of the butterfly project? Google it, that might help you. Otherwise another good method is to take a pain and draw lines on where you would self harm, or to write kind words instead of self harming. This can be a good method instead of self harming.

http://living-with-anorexia.blogspot.se/2014/04/the-alternative-jar.html

http://living-with-anorexia.blogspot.se/2014/04/50-alternatives-to-self-harm.html

http://living-with-anorexia.blogspot.se/2013/12/self-injury-help-sites.html

Alternatives for self harm

Answer (repost)

How did your family react when you were sent again to the hospital after trying to overdose? I mean, how did they treat you, what did you have to go through after that? Did things get better? I guess I'm asking for specifics because I am there now... Everyone thinks I'm crazy for doing what I do. I don't deserve to live. I feel so much guilt because they don't have the money to keep me here and they shouldn't have to spend their money on me when they could be doing better things with it. They treat me like I'm fragile, and I hate it. They treat me like you would treat a scared animal, and I hate it. I don't want to be weak. I'm not weak. I'm strong. They can't take that away from me.
I guess I just want someone to understand, and it seems like you do. You've been where I am, and I just want to know that it's normal for them to treat me like I'm toxic and I want to know it's normal what I'm going through. I want to stop feeling like a burden and a freak.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time at the moment. But know that it is possible to get better.

   

My mum knew i was depressed, she knew how much i was struggling, but it was almost like she had given up on me at that point. She felt that she couldn't deal with me anymore, that she wanted me to just be at Mando. To get better before i was allowed home. That was one reason why i felt so awful, because i knew that i wasn't getting better. And i was letting everyone down.

  But when i had overdosed, it was like she realised how sick i really was, and that something had to change. That what was being done, wasn't enough. 

  I was still a patient at Mando at the time, but once they heard that i had overdosed, they told me that i wasn't allowed to be a patient there. That i should be moved to a psychiatric ward. But my mum knew that that wouldn't help me... I had already been in a psychiatric ward, and that was the reason we moved to Sweden, because the care there wasn't helping me at all.

  So my mum took loads of control, and really began to support me. To help me in any way she could... but at the time, that was just to keep me at Mando, and to keep me safe from myself.

  

It took a long time before it got better, infact, i just got worse from that point on. Because i then planned my next attempt at suicide. After my OD, i was on complete lock down. I had been an inpatient at Mando at the time, but i was slowly progressing to be allowed home - even if i wasnt getting better.

  But then suddenly i was back at stage 0. Where all the staff had their eyes on me. I was in a wheelchair. I wasn't allowed to be on my own at all. And i just felt i couldn't cope with that anymore, that had been the reason i had tried to take my life in the first place...

  so anyway... long story short. It got alot worse before it got better. 

But finally, i hit rock bottom. Physically and mentally. I had continued to lose weight, and mentally and physically i was at my worst point and i realised, i couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't be sick... that being sick was worse than atleast trying to recover.

  One of my motivation/reasons to recover was my sister. She had the life i wanted... she went to school. SHe had a group of friends, a boyfriend. She went to parties. She had fun, she ate when she wanted to, without guilt. She was pretty, happy and loved living life (and of course still is!!) She she motivated me (even if she didnt, and still doesnt know it) to recover.

At the time, no one could understand why i did what i did. Of course they understood i was depressed and very sick. But if you haven't had an ED or been depressed, it is very hard to understand why someone would self harm or try to end their life.

   

My mum is the only one who knew about my OD. My sister was away that weekend, so my mum decided not to tell her, and she never told my dad either as she knew that he would freak out and demand that i move back to Ireland, even though that wouldn't have helped me at all.

Its understandable how your family are acting around you.. i mean, they might not be able to understand why you did what you did. And they don't want to be the one to push you over the edge again. So they are being careful around you. Because you do have to understand that you are fragile, mentally and physically... even if you tell yourself that you are not.

   You don't always need to be the strong one. The one who doesn't need any help. Sometimes all you need to do is to accept the help - which is something that took a very long time for me to learn. But that is what is needed in recovery .To accept the help, and to stop telling yourself that you are not sick, or not worth help.

  Because you are worth help. And sometimes what you need to do is to admit that you actually need help, and that you are not strong. 

  That is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you are taking your own health seriously. That you are brave, courageous... doing something that scares you.

It is normal what you are going through, but it is also normal for your family to react that way around you. They dont know what else to do.

If the way your family are acting around you bothers you, then talk to them. But do try to accept the help you are getting at hospital, because you do need it. And you are not going to feel better, if you just do everything wrong and push everyone away.

  Things do get better, i promise you that, but you have to be the one who wants things to get better. Things dont just magically change, you have to make the change for the better. You can't sit and hope that magically something will make everything better.

Please remember, that it is not strength to commit suicide or to push everyone away. Strength is admitting that you are weak, to actually admit that you have fears or need help.

If you need any help or have any more questions, you can ask me, or email me. 

  I am here to help if you need it, or just someone to rant to, or someone to understand what you are going through.