Blogging - Answer

How does it feel having so many readers? people who look up to you and are inspired by you? Do you ever feel stressed about it? have you ever thought about not blogging? Do you like blogging? sorry all the questions I just felt curious! I hope you answr!

Dont worry about asking questions, i dont mind answering!! :)

Something which still shocks and amazes me is that People actually choose to read my blog. It stil feels surreal. People all around the world have choosen to read my blog. And that i get so many lovely emails everyday, telling me that i inspire them and that my blog helps... It feels crazy. Like how do I... me, sitting behind the computer screen inspire so many people? Help others... i love helping others, replying to emails and comments. I dont get paid for it, and its not a job or anything. This is something i do in my freetime, something i enjoy doing.¨
  The fact that people look up to me, see me as a role model? Its not something i think about... it doesnt feel real. haha. But at the same time, i have to double think what i write now a days... its not like before when i could write everything that was on my mind. If i had anxiety, suicidal thoughts, cheated with my food, was angry, sad, happy.... now i guess i need to scale al that back. Granted, i dont have so many negative thoughts. But when i do feel very sad, angry, have anxiety i no longer turn to my blog to write it out... i feel i cant do that as it might trigger others. And i want my blog to be as positive as possible, though of course negativity does come up. Its hard to avoid.
   Also, people i know read my blog which can also make it harder to write more personal posts. But i guess its not needed so much anyway.

  The fact that i have so many readers does cause stress and pressure for me sometimes. I feel like i need to post everyday... but sometimes i just dont have motivation or inspiration. Ive written about most topics, and soemtimes i feel like im just repeating myself.... tring to find new things to post. But its not always so easy.
  Sometimes i get super motivated and can write 8 really good posts in one night and then have them scheduled for the week, but other times i resort to posting things i find online as i just dont have anything to write about.
  But its also trying to find the balance of pleasing all my readers... some want more personal posts, others want food and food diaries, others want posts from the past, others just want advice and help etc
  So its trying to write about all those things, in a balanced and even amount.

I can find that i look at my blog and just think...everything is wrong with it. There are things i want to change but dont know how.
  Also with emails... i really wish i could respond faster and help everyone, but that doesnt always work. Sometimes i miss emails or dont have a chance to reply and it can go 2 or 3 weeks before you get a reply, and i feel really bad about that sometimes. But how often i reply to emails all depends on how im feeling and whats going on in my life. Sometimes if you're lucky you get a reply almost immediately :)

Another thing which i guess can creep me out, or making me rethink blogging is that i really dont know who reads my blog... i mean, it could be creepy old men :S And that thought can make me want to just shut down my blog. But i know the risks of posting online... once a pciture, post or anything else is online, its no longer your property... anyone can use that picture, writing, text etc
  And that has happend, ive written about it before... someone has taken my pictures and created a FB account, people have stolen my texts for their blogs (without sourcing me... its fine to use my texts or posts as long as you let me know and link to my blog :)) and people who have created accounts and used my pictures, and even my story.
  So i dont like that.... but in the end those types of things happen. 

Sometimes ive thought, i wish my blog could be bigger, but that would cause even more pressure and stress... its only soemtimes i feel this pressure though. 85% of the time i blog because i like it, because i want to share what is on my mind and help others. Not because i feel i have to.... im finding the balance, and letting go of the stress, the pressure of having to blog. Because i dont actually. I do it for MY sake. And thats what is most important, that is what keeps me blogging because i truly enjoy it!

Someday, yes i will stop blogging... maybe even shut down my blog. But for now, i dont see that in my near future. Whether its in 6 months, a year or 10 years i dont know... ill see where life takes me :)

Another thing i want to add is that the way i live life is not the only way to live life..... remember im jsut human. I have my ups and downs. And i have choosen to live my life the way i want to... but you can choose your own path, life and destiny after your eating disorder.
  Just because i have choosen to exercise often, doesnt mean that you have to... its ok to not like exercise, remember that!!! :)

Find your own healthy and create your own happiness and life :)