Blogging

"I hope you don't compare real life to an edited one."

"I read that today and it kind of struck a chord with me. The post talked about how these blogs of ours are just little snippets of our lives and that bloggers are real-life, normal people, complete with their fare share of ups and downs. As the owner of our blog, we get to decide what we want to share with the world and what we want to keep private. We can choose to portray our lives as rainbowy or not-so-rainbowy as we'd like.

Sometimes I struggle with what to share or not. Sometimes I let my guard down and just lay it all out there and sometimes I feel self conscious and clammer up and ignore the blog for days. Sometimes I'm bursting at the seams to share my life with the world and sometimes I don't think my life is all that significant to write about.

Putting your life out there and sharing publicly, via a blog, opens the gates for others to see you, judge you, like you, hate you, and that's just something that comes with the territory I suppose, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want people to like me. I mean, don't we all? But sometimes I think I let this blog consume me too much. I think about the thoughts of who might be reading this more than I should." (http://www.mishlovinlife.com/2013/12/a-self-conscious-blogger.html)



Something which ive been thinking about more and more recently is my blog and the content of my blog...
  I began blogging back in 2009, with the soul purpose of writing about what i was going through... at that time i was very young and thought i had bulimia as i was throwing up. Never did i consider that i had anorexia, and had no idea that i would spend the next few years sick and going in and out of hospital for an ED.
  I didnt write often, but the posts that i did write i have deleted. And my first posts which are public are from 2010.
 
Since then, there have been posts almost daily for more than 3 years...thats a long time. Maybe not as long as some bloggers, but that is still alot of years of my life.
  I love blogging and never regret blogging. It has helped me so much and i have gotten to know so many lovely people. It began with me struggling with my eating disorder, with very messed up thoughts. I was scared and felt alone, but i wasnt. I connected with people who were going through the same thing. And i know that people can relate to my old posts, that is why i keep them up. Even if some are very badly written (in times of anxiety), contain ALOT of grammar and word mistakes (At times, i am a grammar police! haha) and can be triggering.
 But those are the types of posts that many can relate to. And then they can read my newer posts, where i show that recovery is possible...

I get so many lovely emails each day where i am told that i am an inspiration and have helped in their recovery. That means so much to me, it warms my heart. And makes blogging so much more fun, when you get feedback and comments.

At times i feel like just shutting down my blog, sometimes it feels like theres no point... what do i get out of blogging? (Though i love it, so for now the action of shutting down my blog wont be happening!!!) And other days all i want to do is expand my blog. To get partnerships with businesses or sponsors, to have a more proper blog (Something which i am trying to work on, but havent had enough time to invest in it). I want to help even more people, but then i think...do i have time for it?
  Blogging is very time consuming, and also... the larger the blog the less personal i feel i can be...

I mean when you have thousands of readers each day (which i do) i no longer know what to write about...do people even want to read about my personal life, or do you just want to read about recovery tips? About exercise and healthy eating? More recipes or less recipes. More pictures, less pictures. More text, less text. More posts or less posts.....
  All of those questions, and sometimes i need to double think what i write... is something triggering? Can i really write everything... can i write what is on my mind (Which is what i love doing, but havent been able to do so much recently.) It feels like i have more posts sitting in drafts, because i dont know whether i should publish it or not...

Writing about my school day just isnt interesting to others... its not exactly what you come onto my blog to read about.
   But always trying to write recovery inspiration isnt always easy, though i do try as much as i can.


But at times, it feels like ive already written about everything, how to recover, how to gain weight, how to cope with weight gain, how to stop self harming, how to stop over exercising, how to stop purging etc etc
 
Some days i have nothing write, other days i have loads.

Something which i dont want any of you to do is to compare yourself to me, because i am me.... i only share small parts of my life in the blog, mainly because i dont know whether my life, my personal life would be interesting to read or not. But also because the more readers i have, the less likely i am to share every detail about my life, or all the thoughts i have in my head.
 
Please leave suggestions, advice and comments about what you like/dislike about my blog...It would help so much. To get feedback, whether its positive or negative.. (Though i would prefer constructive critisizm, rather than blunt critisizm!!!)...