Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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My diets

At home - while i was healthy.


Breakfast - Cereal with milk (sometimes full fat, sometimes skimmed) and sometimes toast (soda bread) with butter and cheese


Snack - if i didnt have toast for breakfast most probably toast here


Lunch - that would be anything, but not much greenery


Snack - not sure if i had a snack here or not, but if i did it could be anything, a fruit, a choclate bar... not so sure cant remember


Dinner - the same as lunch it would be naything
 Dessert - no not really. but sometimes there would eb something like pringles or a choclate bar or soemthing.


Snack - sometimes i would eat something here, it would eb anythign really. 


At school - when healthy


breakfast - Usually cereal with milk


First break - Sandwich w/cheese/potato salad/ham ... any filling really, mainly cheese though.


Second break - a sandwich and .... something else usually aswell.. not sure what though.


Dinner - any type of food, whatever was cooked, ranging from vegetarian to soup to pizza and chips.


Snack - i think toast, or something along the line of that


At school - in first year


breakfast - cereal with milk


First break - Nothing


Second break - Chocolate bar or nothing


Dinner - normal portion of food


Snack - i think i would eat something here, not sure


At school - second year 


Breakfast - Tea with Alpro soya and a spoonful of cereal (muslie i think) with milk which i wouldnt eat (too fool my mum)


First break - either nothing or half a cereal bar


Second break - either the second half of the cereal bar or if i had nothing for my first break the whole cereal bar, sometimes nothing.


Dinner - Here, i cant remember, i would take very little of what was cooked, fish, soup, pasta. At this point i wasnt eating junk food so nothing like pizza or chips and i avoided greasy food, actually i was cooking pretty much my own food, not adding any butter, or oil.. just plain pasta, sometimes i only had salad for dinner, but at this stage i was just throwing it up anyway


Snack - tea


While i was at home - not allowd ot go ot school


Breakfast - Usually one or two large cups of tea with a little bit of alpro soya


Snack - tea, or a fruit or nothing


Lunch - nothing or a small bit of salad


snack - tea or a fruit or nothing 


Dinner - whatever was cooked, but just a tinsy bit and i would throw it up, if i could, at this stage i couldn't because i had eaten so little during the day that my body was refusing to let go of it.


Snack - tea or nothing


(I was addicted to tea, sometimes i would have anything up to 8 cups a day, but then i started to limit myself to 3 cups, very tough, tea was instead of drinking and got major head aches.)


Irish hospital


Breakfast - cup of full fat milk with a cup of cornflakes. and 200 ml of orange juice.


Snack - 125ml Fortisip (calorie drink)


Lunch -  portion of food but it was alot of fatty horrible food there so alot of burger, oily pasta, bacon, bread chips. 


Snack - 125ml Fortisip


Dinner - Same as lunch


Snack - Hot chocolate with full fat milk, white bread with butter and jam


But just because that was my meal plan didnt mean i ate any of it. To be honest i dont think i ate any of it.


Irish hospital - my second meal plan


Breakfast - Cup of full fat milk with a cup of cornflakes , 200ml orange juice and white toast with butter and jam.


Snack - I cant actually remember what i  had here.


Lunch - A large portion of food, any type really.


Snack - cant remember what i had here, i think something like, biscuits and juice or something


Dinner - same as lunch


Snack - 2 biscuits with Philadelphia cheese or hot chocolate with two biscuits


(Didnt eat much of this meal plan)


Paediatrics hospital - Had NG every night (2500 calories)


breakfast - cornflakes with milk, toast with butter and jam and 200 ml orange juice


snack - yogurt with 200 ml juice


lunch - small portion of food, but it was standard hospital food,,, chips, sausages.


snack - ricecrispie bar with milk


dinner-  same as lunch


snack - either muffin or doughnut


(Ate like nothing of this plan, refusing as i had the NG.)


Swedish hospital - my first meal plan


breakfast - 2dl yogurt, 1dl cornflakes, 2 tablespoons of raisins, fruit and 2dl water


Snack - 1 crisp bread with 1 tsp butter and 1 tsp caviar, 2dl orange juice


Lunch - 200 gram cooked food (meat/fish/chicken, pasta/rice/potato, sauce) 2dl juice


Snack - Rissifrutti with 2dl blackcurrant juice


Dinner - same as lunch


Snack - 1 crisp bread with 1 tsp butter and 2 tsp jam, 2dl juice


(This meal plan was easier because its just normal food, not like with the Irish hospital that was just horrible junk food, which is my worst nightmare.)


My most recent meal plan - after quite a few raises. But i dont need to bore you with them


Breakfast - 1) 2dl yogurt, 1dl muesli, 4 dried prunes, 1 crisp bread with 1 tsp butter and 1 tsp marmalade, 3dl juice
 2) 1 port oatmeal porridge, 1 dl milk, 2 tbs apple purre, 2 tbs raisins, fruit and 3dl juice


Snack - 1) 125 gram yogurt, 2 pieces of rusk with 1 tsp butter and 1 tsp marmalade for both, i fruit, 3dl juice
  2) 1 soft bread with 1 tsp butter and a slice of ham, 5 dried prunes, 1 fruit and 3dl juice


Lunch - 350 gram cooked food (pasta/rice/potato , meat/fish/chicken, boiled vegetables and sauce) 3dl juice


Snack - 1) Risifrutti, 1 fruit, 4 dried prunes, 3dl juice
  2) 2 pieces of soft bread with 1 tsp butter and 2 tsp of jam for each. 1 fruit and 3dl juice


Dinner - same as lunch


Snack - 1) 3dl yogurt w/ 1,5 dl cereal (cornflakes/all bran), 2 tbs raisins, 1 banana, 3dl juice
 2) 1 risifrutti, 2 pieces of rusk with 1 tsp butter and 1 tsp marmalade for both, 1 fruit, 3dl juice


My meal plan - after being admitted as an inpatiant for the third time. I made a new meal plan, just wanted a new start. i cant say i enjoyed this meal plan. infact, i hated it very much. I had a new dietitian make this meal plan with me, and also there was less to choose from on the food carts as they kept getting rid of food, for some reason or other. so it was hard to choose from the limited item.
  also she changed it, so the three biggest meals are breakfast lunch and dinner.


(I have 3-4 options on eveyr, but theres no point writing them all out!)


Breakfast - 1) 2dl milk, 1 dl musli/1,5dl cereal, 1 banana. 1 piece of bread, 1 tsp buter, 1 slice of cheese, 3dl juice/Proviva. 1/2 Scandishake.
    
2) 1 portion oatmeal porridge. 1dl milk, 3 tbs jam, 1 banana. 1 hard bread, 1 tsp buter and 1 slice cheese. 3dl juice/proviva. 1/2 scandishake.


10 o clock snack - 1) 1 Yoggi yoghurt. 3 digestives/6 pepparkakor. 3dl juice/milk/provivia.


2) 2dl yoghurt, 1dl musli/1,5 dl cereal, 1 fruit. 3 dl juice/ proviva.


3) 1 pucko (chocolate milk), 4 scorper, 2tsp butter, 2tsp marmalade (0,5 on each scorpa) and a fruit. - i hated this option. never take it.


Lunch - Lunch hasnt changed. 350gram.


3 o clock snack - 1) 1 Rissifrutti, 1 hard bread with 1tsp butter and  slice of ham or 1tbs Pate.a fruit. 3 dl juice.


2) 2dl yoghurt, 1dl musli/i,5dl cereal, 1 fruit,, 1 hard bread with 1tsp buter and a slice of ham


3) 1 Dreamyoghurt, 1 piece of brea, 1 tsp butter, slice of cheese, fruit and 3dl juice.


Dinner - Hasnt changed. 350gram with 3dl juice.


Night snack - 1) 2dl yohurt, 1,5dl cereal, 1 fruit and 3dl juice


2) 1 risifrutti, 1 fruit and 3dl juice.


3) 3dl milk (can add coffe or tea) 1 banana, 1 yoggi and 1 digestive kex/2 pepperkakor.


Sure is alot fo food, huh? Yesh.... i think so too!




For the  meal plans in the Swedish hospital ,i stuck to them and ate them. And yes, it is a lot of food, i go up 0.5kg or more very week. So i am gaining weight, which scares me but i just want out of hospital so i know i have to eat.


I can deny, sometimes i wish i could g back to when i was home sick, jsut drinking tea, it was comforting, but i knwo i cant and i wont ever, becaus eim not gonna go throught this again, nce is enough for anybody. I think wy it is so tough is so that it makes you see that you dont want to go down this path again.