Prediction

What i thought would ahppen; my weight is most probably going to be down and then mum will be like its cus she didnt take the calshake and no one wil ltrust me and my supervisor will get anry at my mum most probably, my mum will get angry at me, they'll both watch me like a hawk and everythign will jsut be crap, i'll feel like crap and most probably get suicidal thouhts.

What actually happend. My weight was fien as my superviso didnt mention anythign to me,so that means that my weight has gone up. Which i was glad, but then again not because once i knew that my weight ahd gone up, iwas like.... shit, no.

  But i told mum, like that she can trust me now because it was only yesterday that i poured it out, i would have lsot weight if i didnt take the calshake.

  But she didnt seem to be happy about it. she was jsut like"Well i dont trust you, im gonna watch you liek a hawk, because you cant eb trsuted." that jsut pissed me off. Now, im ignoring her. If anyting i WANT to lsoe weght now. I cant stand it that ive gone up. No scratch that,  i dont give  a fuck anymroe. i want everythign to end. Feel veyr much like self hamring, and thats exacty what im going to do. Actually i feel veyr much like killing myself, but read over my last post and im jsut like.. well, i can try to kill myself, but that dont mean it will work. So self harm it is.

  But i seriously fucking hate my mum, im not gaing the weight for me, i still want to lose weight. Its for her that imfucking doing it,to prove that imdoing things right and that i can be trusted. But now.... if i start going down in weight.... well thats her fault also.Once you stop trusting me, expect the worst.

I think this whole thign is a trust issue, because once someone stops trsuting me im back to wanting to lose wieght and self harm.