Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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I miss summer

I miss summer... i miss how happy i was.
  Happy that i was living, happy in my body, happy that i was out of Mando.
I was enjoying sweets & chocolate, the sun, swimming, going for walks in the forest, i liked being with my family.
  I didnt feel stressed, i felt happy. I was a teenage girl, a happy & healthy girl who was focused on gaining weight and being declared healthy from Mando.

Where did she go? Where did my motivation go? Where did my smile and my happiness go?
  Somewhere in these past few months, i've become stressed and unhappy, and  my motivation to gain weight has become more of a burden. 
  
I will find that girl though... i will return to the happy teenager i really am.
  
I'm on my way though... i've made A vow. 
  I wont return to being sick, i will gain weight.. no matter if i feel like shit and just want to hide form the world. I wont let ana control me, i will do things right....
  yes, i keep repeating those words over & words, saying that i will do things right... and i do. And then i stop telling myself to do right, and thats when i do wrong. 


Summer.... i miss you.





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5 comments:

  1. Don't worry, summer will come soon enough :)
    And well... Now you've got a bunch of things to manage - school and other stuff. That's much more than you were used to last sumer - you only had to focus on eating.
    Food is not the main issue anymore, it's your nutrition- the basis for working on harder projects.
    But summer will come again, i promise :)
    It's just a period of less good-mood-days.
    Keep walking, times goes by.
    Christine

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  2. SV: Tack så jättemycket :)

    Hmm.. försök att jobba med olika vinklar, hur ser motivet ut uppifrån, nerifrån, från sidan?
    Testa dig fram vad som passar bäst, och ta med kameran ofta, fotografera så mycket som möjligt så kommer du få ett stort urval att välja mellan!

    ReplyDelete

  3. Hey
    So i am in recovery and i often turn down offers to go out b/c i am too tired and i have trouble focusing very long. Also sometimes I have trouble sleeping.
    I was wondering how long into recovery did you notice this start to improve? do you ever get back to normal and think and sleep normally again?
    thanks!

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  4. hi :) im just happened to go on your blog (kinda a long story...not really). ive been reading random posts when i remember to read them. i just have to say that u inspire me to keep going. im going through tough times at school. its just hard to get through the day without wanting to cry in the bathroom or stuff myself with food or do stupid things. when im reading your blog i feel like youre getting through all the hard times so i can too.
    so thx for just writing this blog :)
    Stay Strong :D <3

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  5. Believe in yourself, darling. Recovery is NOT easy at all - it comes with ups and downs. It's about overcoming the downs and fighting for your happiness, your freedom, your LIFE!

    I look forward to following your blog and watching you kick so ED booty! :)

    ReplyDelete

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