Came home, ate my afternoon snack and then i began with my school work... and now its 7.40pm, and im just about to begin with dinner.... Where does the time even go?
At the moement i really feel like there is not enough hours in the day... i get up 6am each morning, fall asleep at 11pm at night, but yet... i still dont have enough time to get everything done. Though i know i am super productive, studying, working out, school, cookking, walking the dog etc... But stlll.... This anxiety is building up in me.
Tomorrow im going to Mando. I was supposed to go there 2 weeks ago, but i had a presentation then so i couldnt. And i wanted to move it forward this week aswell because i am missing a very important maths lesson, but i know i cant. Because i dont want my case manager to get worried and start to wonder why i am moving the visits forward.
At the moment i only go there every 3 months... I am going the 5 year follow up plan. So still got 3...4? years ahead of me.
Im complaining that i have to go out there tomorrow for 2 hours, because it takes an hour to travel there, and then an hour home again... Hahah, i really shouldnt. I mean i once had to travel that distance everyday, and would leave without eating... and then spend 8 hours there everyday. So i have no right to complain!!! Though its just that it takes a whole lot of time from me and studying... time i cant afford.
It will of course be lots of forms to fill in... lots of talking, and also im going to eat a snack there. Infact that reminds me, im going to write out everything ive eaten today so that i dont have to sit there tomorrow and try to remember! The worst thing is trying to guess the amounts of what i eat... haha...
Otherwise im not so nervous about the results... though of course each time i go to Mando i feel extra nervous. Always have to think about these tiny things which i dont even think about like maybe not leaning into the chair, or tapping with my feet etc... none of those things are allowed at Mando. I feel like i am being observed like a mouse rat!! haha... its like a test being there. Do i answer correctly? Do i answer right..? Am i healthy? Though its all about answering honestly... how you feel and how you behave.
I have no idea what my weight is, but last time i was weighed i was around 64/65kg... and im guessing im still somewhere around there...
So thats my news from today!! haha ;)
Think about the trip to Mando like being a fw hours break from you school work, hah :D something good abou everything ;) would be nice to read more about your school and your studies; what they have been, are now and what are your future plans about school/work and life enyway :) like do you have dreams or plas abou the future and studies?
ReplyDeleteYeah ill try write a post about that :)
DeleteIt's always hard going back to somewhere that holds difficult memories as well as worrying about being scrutinised- it almost makes me inadvertently do things like tapping my leg- out of pure anxiety!! You always look amazing in your photos. Are you really tall? Your legs seem to go on forever!!
ReplyDeleteYes exactly,it feels like I over think everything and just do the wrong thing! yeah I'm 176cm... but I'm the shortest in my family ^-^
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