Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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Safe haven

Today in school, we had a talk about Stress management. How to manage stress. How to juggle all the aspects in you life, like school, work, friends, hobbies/other activities....
   
And one of the techniques, to try to focus and calm down when you were feeling stressed was to go to your safe haven.
    To imagine that you were somewhere else... somewhere where you felt safe, and relaxed. Stress free.

I sat there, thinking.... thinking long and hard. But could not imagine anywhere that felt safe to me. My creativity was lacking, so i couldnt dream up some new place. So i thought about all of the places where ive lived... because for many, or many teenagers anyway, their safe haven is their bedroom.
  For me, i've had about 8 different bedrooms in my life, because i have moved house so often. I thought about all the houses ive lived in... but they didnt feel safe to me. Not somewhere i would want to go back, they are all in the past. Though of course, while living in those houses, i would have said that my hosue (at the time) was my safe haven.
   But then i thought about, where i live now... i love it. Its a great location, i have my own room. I like being in my room... but it still doesnt feel somewhere, stress free.... i have this desire and longing to live on my own .To move out, and i know that the first chance i get. I will move out....
 
I thought about the nature... i mean, thats a pretty relaxing, safe haven, right?
  But nope.... the forest, the sea, the mountain, all the different routes ive walked or ran..... all the different beaches ive sat at.... it just belongs to the past. Not somewhere calming.

Ive been so many different places in my life, lived in so many different houses and apartments, different memories of things.

Sitting there on my chair, and seeing everyone else seem to relax, i just felt more stressed... how could i not have a safe haven? Somewhere to escape to?

Where/what is your Safe Haven? :)

9 comments:

  1. hmmm...this has made me think and I am having a similar problem. I'm going to say an imaginary location surrounded by nature with sunlight, colours, birdsong and a mini waterfall with a lake.ahhhh

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    1. Nature is always good :)
      And that sounds really nice!

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  2. Maybe you just haven't found the right place yet and there's nothing wrong with that :)

    In Hamilton, my safe haven is definitely my bed. I just jump in and I feel like nothing can touch me. It's a lovely feeling. When I'm at my mum's place my safe haven is the beach. Just standing on the sand and looking out into the ocean is such a calming and peaceful thing. Absolutely beautifullllll :)

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    1. The beach sounds amazing :) I do miss being able to just walk to the beach (from my house in Ireland) :)

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  3. Well, why couldn't your Safe Heaven be just a simple moment with your Saturday breakfast in your bed? :) It doesn't need to be anything tropical or clean or whatever. It can very well be just a moment that you would've wanted to stick to :)
    One of my Safe Heavens could be a certain fan meet I took part in a few years ago. I was a massive fan of Michael Jackson, and in that meeting I felt for the first time in a long while that there are people who understand <3

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    1. Pfft.. Except that Safe haven would sound a little better

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    2. Thats true. I mean, it doesnt have to be somewhere tropical or out in nature... it can just be ssomething which you love..

      That sounds amazing that you met Michael Jackson!! Very cool ;)

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  4. the gym? I guess it doesn't have to be a traditionally "relaxing" place, loads of people might say the gym isn't a safe haven because it requires effort and work but you always seem to be happiest there so maybe that works best for you?

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    1. You know what, when i first wrote this post i actually wrote that the one place i could think of, that would be my safe haven was the gym. Because thats the place where i feel most relaxed... it takes away my stress. I feel comfortable there... its like my home away from home.
      But then after like an hour, i deleted that bit of text because i was almost sure that i would end up getting some comment saying that i was obssessed with the gym or exercise or something, if the gym was my safe haven? hahah... though that is not the case at all!!

      So you are definitely right, the gym is my safe haven :)

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