Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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Society

We live in a society where, thin is beautiful, but dieting is wrong.
  Im just after reading an article in Cosmopolitan (March 2012) where theres an article about how celebrities are so thin, but apparently eat these huge burgers, and fast food.. and dont diet.  They tweet about how they eat all this junk food... But is that just a show? do they actually eat all the crap food all the time? No, not really. 


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In our society... everyone wants to be thin, but its wrong to diet... its better to eat the burger, then the salad. But why? Thats why so many more people are obese... im not saying theres anything wrong with eating a burger, but it feels like there is such a pressure on everybody, they want to be thin... but its wrong to eat the light, fat-free foods? How does that work?


I think ive said this before... but for me, because i've had anorexia, because ive had a problem with food.. it feels like if someone offers a cookie... i cant say no? Because that would be wrong. I cant drink just black coffee... i have to have milk.
 I cant go for a 'light' product, i have to take the option with sugar or fat...
 Why? Just because ive had an ED, does that mean that i can never say 'no'. Never go for fat free foods?
I cant say im Full, im not hungry. but at the same time, i cant say im hungry. Or i can.. but that just leads to everyone being surprised when i say im hungry?!

I hate society.. i hate cliches.

Like last year when my best friend from Ireland came to visit with her family, the second day we went out to eat in an italian restaurant... i wasnt particularly hungry, and didnt fancy pasta or pizza.. so i decided i would take a ceaser salad.. but a salad is a slim/diet/anorectic option... and suddenly i started getting paniced.. icouldnt take a salad, i had to show my best friend that i could eat, that i wasnt sick anymore... i almost burst into tears, but my best friend noticed soemthing was wrong and just asked what it was, and i burst into tears and was like.. i cant take a salad, i have to eat pizza or something. Im healthy, i can eat pizza. i mean it... She just hugged me and told me that she knew i was healthy, that i could eat. I could eat whatever i wanted.. she didnt care. I didnt have to prove anything... as long as i ate something.
  And that really made me smile...  And in all honesty... ceaser salad isnt that healthy if you think about it.

The thing is.. I can take a salad. I can eat fat free food if i want.. nothing can stop me. I shouldnt be labelled sick/anorectic if i decide to eat rice instead of pasta, or take a salad without salad dressing, or go for a light yoghurt instead of one with fat.

I shouldnt have to prove i can eat certain foods... i know im healthy. Im mentally healthy.. i dont have a problem with food. With junk food. I can eat how much, or how little of whatever food.

For me.. its no longer i Big thing that i can eat sweets, that  i can eat ice cream etc etc... if i have cravings for chocolate.. i can go buy chocolate. Before when i was recoverying.. and eating was new again then i had to like tell eveyrone.. I ate chocolate.. and make a big thing out of it... but thats not normal. Why should i have to do that.. nobody else does.

I shouldnt, and nobody else should be judged by what they eat. I mean, in a day, i eat quite alot of food... that doesnt make me fat ( even though i feel fat somedays) and i mean, people who diet... that doesnt exactly make them thin?
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And there shouldnt be such a press on everybody to be thin.. cant people just accept how they look, they're body shape. Yeah sure, if your overweight.. its just healthy to lose weight..

But i mean.. life isnt all about weight, calories, body shape.... Its so much more. 529935_329552570442691_170145233050093_920376_1019985865_n_large

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