Food talk

Good evening everyone :) Hope everyone has a good day!!
Today for dinner, my sister and her boyfriend came over. So there were 5 of us for dinner.
   P had made a sea food lasagna.... *sigh* i really dont like lasagna... i dont like the taste of it, the different layers.. nope. But i cant complain either... i hate saying that i 'dont like food' it always feels like someone is going to think its sick thing... it feels like im not allowed to say i dont like certain foods :/
  So i just ate the lasagna anyway....
and then for dessert i had made an apple pie, which i must admit was.... 5/5 :) hahaha... Ego, much? :)
  
But during dinner, there was so much food talk... and even after... it was just like 'food this.' ' food that' 'blah blah blah'. I got kind of angry... i was just thinking. Can't we just stop talking about food... about what we eat, different restaurants...
  it felt like inside of me, something was stirring. This big angry bubble... i found it annoying that they were talking about food all the time. I almost felt a little sick... it was mainly because i was so full from dinner, and then it was just like food food food... - you know what i mean? Like when you're so full, and just the smell or sight of food makes you feel sick?
  And then anyway, nobody listened to me... what i had to say. I tried talking, tried saying my opinion on topics or facts i knew or whatever... but everyone just talked over me... i didnt get a chance to say anything....
   Its always been like that. Pretty much my whole life. Ive been the silent one because i havent got a chance to talk... nody ever asks me what my opinion is on things, if i have a say. And when i do talk, it feels like people dont listen.
  Or they talk over me.

I remember in primary school, the first time i told one of the guys to 'shut up' because they werepicking on my best friend... and they all turned around, shocked because i had cursed... because i had spoken. I was the silent smart one....
  Its always been like that... its more shocking that i do talk, then if i dont. Its normal if i just sit in the corner, or am by myself...
  it feels like nobody notices me... i have no control.
I think thats part of me devoloping anorexia.. because i wanted control, in had no control. It was just to do what people said... i was scared to say anything... nobody listened.

Ive also changed the way i look, dyed my hair.. because ive wanted to be noticed... and because i have these 'spontaneous' moments... and because i get bored, and feel i just want to change everything.
  But even now, when i dyed my hair brown... its because i want people to notice me... i dont want to fade into the background... i mean, im not asking for the spotlight... but it feels like im so easily forgotten,,

Ok... that went off topic? Basically... i ended up just leaving the table because i got so upset because i didnt get a chance to say anything, it didnt feel like i should sit at the table... there was no point. Nobody really noticed anyway.. didnt care that i left. :/
  
I really hate when people talk over me... because i barely do talk, and then when i do.. and someone talks over me... that just pisses me off...

Ok, this post took a complete twist and turn to what i actually had to say... which was 'food talk' how they were just sitting talking abotu food.... :/

Im just going to put on my pyjamas, curl up into bed and watch a film... its an early night for me. Im completly exhausted!! Ive got alot of work done today... relief!