Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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Triggers

While you are recovering you need to face your triggers. You can't hide away from things that make you feel bad or relapse. In the beginning you can... but some time you need to face the reality and your triggers. While I was at Mando there were no mirrors. That was kinda nice to avoid having to see yourself... However. As soon as I got home I would end up spending an hour locked in the bathroom just staring at myself and everything that was wrong. I think it would have been better to do some type of mirror training... Instead of just avoiding mirrors all together.
Say if you get triggered by skinny people or models in magazines.... you can't avoid that either. There will always be people who are bigger or smaller than you. You can't  control that. But you can control whether it affects you or not.... you have to remember that you are YOU. You are unique. You can't look like somebody else or have somebody else's body. You need to  be happy in your own body! 
   Just like with diets... There will always be new diets and people talking about weightloss and dieting. But you can't let that trigger you. You need to focus on your own goals... just because one person is trying to lose weight or diet Doesn't mean you have to. You are completely different people with different goals. You dont need to be a sheep and do exactly the same as others. So what if people are eating less than you... You need food. You need to gain weight. Focus on yourself. Not on others or what they are doing!!! It's the only way you'll get somewhere in this life!!
And also recently in the comments there has been some discussion about healthy and unhealthy. I completely understand it. But you need to realise that there will always be so called healthy and unhealthy options. But it's YOU who decides whether you label food or what is healthy/unhealthy.
   Because you know what... sometimes the healthiest thing is infact pizza and a milkshake. Healthy for the body... maybe not But healthy for the soul!! Eating pizza now and again That IS Healthy. Everything in moderation is healthy. So you need to understand and remember that.
   Don't care what others take.... If you want pasta - go for pasta. Who cares if your friends take salads. Your different people with different needs and cravings!!
   Don't get so caught up with healthy vs. unhealthy. Because that ISNT healthy.
   You will always have choices between food items.... but you shouldn't think in calories or fat etc. But think in what you want!! What do you want to eat right now? Don't listen to your ED. You need to fight that voice!!
All these triggers ... weight/scale/numbers/skinny/fat etc etc
   Yiu need to face them. Make them NOT triggers. Control how they affect you!!! You  can overcome hour fears and triggers!!!

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