Exhaustion

My feelings and mood can be summed up in exhaustion. This morning i felt i had lots of energy, was ready for the day. But that energy just decreased over the day.
   As mentioned in my previous post, lunch today was terrible, the food which was served was food which i hate. And have always hated, so i only ate a small portion. But the lack of food lead to little energy, and by my third class i couldnt concentrate. I felt tired and just wanted to go home. I had planned to go to the gym after school, but i knew that was not a good idea. That i could not push myself, even if physically i might have had the energy. Mentally i did not.
  That is what happens when i dont get enough food, my blood sugar sinks, my energy levels drop, no concentration etc

On my way home, i almost burst into tears. I just felt so exhausted. So mentally tired... like i didnt even want to go home, because my family would be there. I just felt i wanted to get away from everything. Get away from my head, my thoughts, from my life.
   When i came home i made a big snack which did give me some energy. But i just feel so weighed down at the moment.

Infact the first thing my mum said when she saw me was Am i ok? Am i feeling sick? She said i looked so pale, dark rings under my eyes... almost like she could see the exhaustion in my eyes. I just burst into tears, feeling so tired and weighed down. Im thinking its hormones, no energy, stress and just everything else.... Today hasnt been a particularly stressful day, and its been an ok day. But its just all these emotions at once. And i dont even know what to do.

My mum however suggested that tomorrow i take a break. That tomorrow i take the day off where i can just sleep in, go for a walk or the gym, do something i enjoy, take it easy and also rest. To take a moment to jsut breathe....
  It sounds like a good idea. But whether i do take the day off or not, i dont know.

Whenever i do skip school - even though its not skipping, because i do infact have a valid reason (i.e mental health), i do get anxiety over it. Knowing that i shouldnt.
  I guess ill just see how i feel tonight and take it from there....

I am sorry for this very low, and depressing post. But as i sure you know by now... anyone who has followed my blog for a long time, i just dont handle stress very well. Its either that i eat too little and lose weight due to stress and loss of appetite. Or i end up depressed, or burnt out etc etc 
  So far i havent found a good way of coping with stress... i do things i enjoy. I try to take breaks. To rest.... but it feels like everything is just too much. Hopefully someday i will learn to cope with stress & exams better...