While i was sick, i was too scared to drink because of the calories(&too young of course.) but it happend twice, when i had a glass or two of something and suddenly things felt a little better, my thoughts started fading. I felt happier, i didnt have so much anxiety..... and because i was underweight i got so easily affected of the alcohol. So when i did drink, i drank to drown my emotions and feelings.... i never got so drunk though, only once before.
But now... instead of all my emotions and thoughts fading, they're coming back... strong. Taking over... Alcohol has the opposite effect on me.
So now i feel both mentally and physically sick, and i cant stand the site of myself... of my body.
I actually regret what i drank and what i ate yesterday...soo much. And today im like a balloon.... :/ Not fun. I havent had these types of thoughts, or these fat feelings in forever...
All i can say now anyway is, never again... But really, the chances are i will drink again.... but maybe not as much.? -_-
No comments:
Post a Comment